You can learn a lot from old people.
I especially learned and continue to learn a lot from the foster grandparents my mother works with. They have so many crazy stories to tell. Take my grandmother for instance. When she was in her late teens, early twenties, she had already stolen 3 men from two different women. I guess she couldn’t have blamed it on that ah-aha-ahaa-cohol because of Prohibition, but to each his own.
But there are a few things you do gain from being around your elders:
You learn how to be patient when you’re flying down the interstate/highway/e-way/city streets and they’re going 10, 20 MPH, when the minimum is 55. But then there are some that will say you’re the one driving too slow.
You also learn a newfangled writing technique called cursive writing, as seen in this letter:
For those of you who are too lazy to decipher it, or if you just can’t read period, [why you’re even reading this blog is beyond me…] here it is [No, none of the foster grandparents my parental works with sent this to her. It’s a Dear John letter I saw online]:
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon.
I am 84 years old and live at the county home for the aged. All my people are gone and it’s nice to know some one thinks of me.
God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My room mate is 95 and always had her own radio but would never let me listen to it. The other day her radio fell and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful. She asked if she could listen to mine and I said fuck you.
That sounds like what both my own grandmothers would say. I already know when I get to that golden age, I’m going to be fussing at kids, shouting at them to get off my lawn, selling them candy, and spoiling my grandbabies.
Which is why I know I will make an awesome grandmother and aunt. Because as soon as you bring me your kidlets, currently my birth control because I will not be bringing kids into this world out of wed-lock, not only will I play and feed them [I kind of have to, because I’m not going to jail for you. Nope.],
And the best part, for me at least?
YOU HAVE TO TAKE THEM HOME!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeap…. I will be a fantastic aunt and grandmother.
Old people. Sometimes annoying with the slow driving, and the stories that just seem to go on and on and on and on and on…
Sometimes awesome with the fast driving and giving you free stuff. Particularly, my gram gram who will still make me an Easter basket. I don’t turn down free candy.
Overall, you have truly earned my respect.
***Daily Dose Of Vital Information to be added later***